We're closing out 2025 with a story that will light a fire in your chest, one that reminds you why speaking up for yourself isn't just important, it's survival.
This week, we sit down with Talaya Dendy, a 14-year cancer thriver who pointed out a lump on her neck to her doctor and was told it was nothing. Just a pulled muscle. Go back to work. Keep climbing that corporate ladder. Stop worrying.
Except Talaya knew something was wrong.
And a year later, on a Friday afternoon while driving home from her stressful corporate job, she got a phone call from a nurse, not her doctor, telling her she had Hodgkin's lymphoma. No warning. No support. Just: You have cancer. Call us Monday.
Talaya pulled over to a TJ Maxx parking lot and sat with the worst news of her life, completely alone.
But this isn't just a story about medical gaslighting, though that's a huge part of it. This is a story about what happens when you refuse to stay small, when you decide no one will ever dismiss you again, and when you transform the worst experience of your life into a lifeline for others.
Today, Talaya is a cancer doula, a board-certified patient advocate, and the host of the Navigating Cancer TOGETHER podcast. She sits with people in their hardest moments, fights for them when they can't fight for themselves, and reminds them that there is life on the other side of cancer.
π This episode drops Tuesday, December 30, 2025, at 3 AM ETβ βTalaya's Fight to Be Heard: Cancer, Medical Gaslighting, and Emotional Healing
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π What's Up with G-Rex & Dirty Skittles
Happy New Year to all of you. π
This is our last episode for 2025, and honestly? What a year it's been. We had 59 different guests, and every single one of them showed up with stories that made us laugh, cry, and remember why we do this work. We even got to interview a celebrity, which still feels surreal. If you had asked us when we first started if that would ever happen, we would've laughed you out of the room. And yet, here we are.
Looking ahead to 2026, we've got some incredible guests lined up, and here's the part that makes our jaws hit the floor, we're now waitlisting guests for 2027. Yes, you read that right. 2027. We're also waiting to hear back from some very special guests after the holidays, and trust us, you'll want to stay tuned for that announcement.
Quick housekeeping note: we're moving the newsletter from Kit.com to Substack, but don't panic, this isn't happening until mid-February, and we'll give you tons of advance notice. The move will give us more of a community feel, and it'll be free for now while we figure out if we want to monetize it down the road. You won't need the Substack app since I can still deliver the newsletter straight to your inbox like I do now. Same newsletter, better platform, zero stress.
Thank you to everyone who took the time to listen to our episodes, comment on our social media posts, or reach out via email. And to our guests, you are freaking awesome, and we are so grateful for you.
So here's what's been happening with us. We've slowed down for the end of the year so Dirty Skittles and I can actually breathe, reflect on everything we've accomplished, and spend time with our families. As a matter of fact, this is the first time I've been on my computer since Tuesday, December 23rd, which feels both weird and wonderful. After all those years in corporate America where holidays were just another work day, taking actual time off feels like a small rebellion, and I'm here for it.
This year it was intentional. Since I didn't have any new customers or work lined up, I decided to take time for me and my wife. We built things, shoveled some snow (thanks, upstate New York), and I made the cookies my mom used to make during the holidays. She passed away 28 years ago, and I had to be in the right headspace to make them. But let me tell you, it was super cathartic being in the kitchen. It was almost like I felt her in there, and I swear I heard her say, "Be careful, they're hot."
This Christmas also marked the three-year anniversary of my suicide attempt. And you know what? I'm super proud of myself. Proud for sticking with therapy even when it's hard. Proud for walking away from things that no longer serve me. Proud for being present for the people around me without judgment. As I look forward to 2026, I'm excited that my company will be a year old and that what's in front of me feels really special. And who knows, maybe this is the year I'll actually make some money. π (A girl can dream, right?)
Dirty Skittles had a pretty awesome Christmas too. She got to spend it with her family, and it was super low-key, which is exactly what she needed. She still works at the crappy company I retired from, but I'm so damn proud of how far she's come. We've been talking a lot lately, and I never thought I would say this, but she has me hooked on the spicy books. Yes, you read that right. Spicy books. With dragons. And lovers. And things I'm not going to describe in a family-friendly newsletter. π₯
The way I look at it, the world is a shit show, and I just need a way to escape. If that means I'm reading steamy fantasy novels about winged beasts and forbidden romance, so be it. Zero judgment on my part. Actually, I'm fully invested now, and Dirty Skittles and I just laugh about it because who would've thought?
I love how our friendship has blossomed away from work, away from our podcast, and just into being genuinely amazing friends to each other. I think that's what makes our podcast work so well, we actually like each other, and it shows.
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π₯ Special Shout-Out to Women Supporting Women
π Meet Krista Dykes
She Laughs Media is a boutique podcast booking and publicity agency dedicated to amplifying the voices of mission-driven entrepreneurs, artists, authors, and experts. With media contacts spanning top-tier national outlets and local press, we specialize in creating strategic, faith-rooted storytelling campaigns that connect clients with their ideal audiences. Founded on Proverbs 31:25 β "She laughs at the time to come" β we combine integrity, creativity, white glove service, and world-class media savvy to help clients build lasting visibility and meaningful impact.
Use this worksheet to explore what it means to advocate for yourself when the system fails you, how to process life-changing news alone, and how to transform pain into purpose.
π€ Episode Spotlight: Talaya's Story
Some wounds are invisible. Some are dismissed. And some take a year to be believed.
Talaya Dendy was 27 years old, climbing the corporate ladder, burning herself to the ground trying to achieve all the things we're told matter. And when she noticed a small lump on the side of her neck during a routine physical, she pointed it out to her primary care doctor.
"You work out all the time. It's probably just a pulled muscle."
And just like that, Talaya was dismissed.
A year later, on a Friday afternoon while driving home from work, a nurse called and told her she had Hodgkin's lymphoma. Not her doctor. Not in person. Just a phone call with no support, no answers, and a simple, "Call us Monday."
Talaya pulled over to a TJ Maxx parking lot and sat with the worst news of her life, completely alone. She spent that weekend praying, crying, researching, and experiencing every emotion possible. She was terrified. She was angry. She was pissed that a year ago she'd been blown off by a medical professional who should have listened.
But she also knew that anger wasn't the focus. What mattered was figuring out how to survive.
And that weekend, Talaya the advocate was born.
In this powerful conversation, Talaya opens up about the trauma of medical gaslighting, what it's like to receive a cancer diagnosis over the phone with zero emotional support, and the lonely work of processing a life-changing diagnosis alone. She talks about the anger of knowing you were right all along, the exhaustion of fighting to be heard, and what it takes to become your own advocate when the system fails you.
She also shares how she transformed her pain into purpose by becoming a cancer doula and board-certified patient advocate, creating the emotional support system she desperately needed but never had. Today, through her work at On the Other Side and Laya's Haven, Talaya sits with people in their hardest moments, helps them navigate a broken system, and reminds them they are not a burden, they are the customer, and they deserve to be heard.
This episode is about medical gaslighting, yes. It's about the trauma of being dismissed and the isolation of a life-changing diagnosis. But more than that, it's about transformation. It's about what happens when you decide you will never be silenced again. It's about turning the worst experience of your life into a mission to make sure no one else has to go through it alone.
Talaya didn't just survive cancer. She became the person she needed when no one else showed up.
At the heart of this conversation is a truth too many people know intimately: the medical system fails us.
It fails women. It fails Black women. It fails anyone whose pain is dismissed as stress, as anxiety, as overreacting, as "probably just a pulled muscle." And the cost of that failure isn't just frustration or inconvenience, it's lives. It's delayed diagnoses. It's cancer that could have been caught earlier. It's trauma that could have been prevented.
Talaya's story is a masterclass in what it means to advocate for yourself when the people who are supposed to help you don't. It's about learning that you are not a burden on your healthcare providers, you are the customer, and you deserve answers. It's about understanding that if someone dismisses your concerns, you have every right to walk away and find someone who will listen.
But this episode goes deeper than medical gaslighting. It explores the loneliness of receiving a cancer diagnosis over the phone on a Friday afternoon with no support, no answers, and nowhere to turn until Monday. It explores the anger of knowing you were right all along, and what it takes to sit alone with the worst news of your life and decide you're going to survive anyway.
Talaya also names something many of us carry silently, the hardest lesson she's had to learn: people are not you. No matter how well you treat people, no matter how much you give, that doesn't mean they're going to love you and do the same for you. And when you choose to give and to love, you have to do it without expecting anything in return. But you also have to protect your peace when it's not reciprocated, and you have to decide not to let that change you.
This conversation makes space for both truths: you can be angry about what happened to you, and you can still choose to rise. You can honor the pain, and you can still build something meaningful from it.
π« A quote that stuck with us
"God always gives you who and what you need. Just because you didn't get it from that person doesn't mean you're not worthy." β Talaya Dendy
ποΈ Real Talk from Us
"When Talaya talked about getting her diagnosis over the phone on a Friday and having to sit with it all weekend, I felt that in my bones. The medical system failed her, and it fails so many of us. But what gets me is that she didn't let that break her. She turned it into fuel. She became the advocate she needed, and now she's out here fighting for other people. That's the kind of resilience that changes the world." β G-Rex
"The moment that hit me hardest was when Talaya said she had to ask her family for space because she couldn't carry their emotions on top of her own. That takes so much strength. We're taught to comfort everyone else, even when we're the ones who are hurting. Talaya knew she had to take care of herself first, and that's a lesson I'm still learning." β Dirty Skittles
π Reflection Prompts to Sit With
Have you ever known something was wrong with your body but been dismissed by a doctor? What did you do next?
When you're hurting, do you shrink yourself to take care of everyone else's feelings, or do you give yourself permission to take up space?
What does it mean to you to be your own advocate? Where in your life could you practice that more?
If you've been through something traumatic, how have you transformed that pain into purpose?
π± Gentle Reminder
You are not a burden. You are not dramatic. You are not overreacting.
Your body is telling you something, and you deserve to be heard. The medical system isn't perfect. It fails people every single day. But you don't have to accept that failure. You can advocate for yourself. You can demand better. You can keep going until someone listens.
π€ Meet Our Guest β Talaya Dendy
As a cancer thriver, Talaya Dendy understands the often-overlooked emotional challenges of a cancer diagnosis. Through On the Other Side and her work as a cancer doula, she provides essential emotional support and expert guidance to individuals and families, aiming to fill the gap in compassionate care.
Talaya is also a board-certified patient advocate, health and wellness coach, and host of the Navigating Cancer TOGETHER podcast, where she shares stories and resources to foster connection, understanding, and hope.
Her work is rooted in the belief that there is life on the other side of cancer, and that no one should have to navigate that journey alone.
Medical gaslighting is real, dangerous, and can be deadly
You are not a burden on your healthcare providers, you are the customer, and you deserve answers
Getting a cancer diagnosis over the phone on a Friday with no support is traumatizing and needs to change
Advocating for yourself isn't optional, it's survival
People are not you, give without expecting, but protect your peace
There is life on the other side of cancer, and you don't have to navigate it alone
"Thriver" isn't just a word, it's a decision to keep going even when you need to pause
πͺ Actionable Steps
If something feels wrong with your body, don't wait. Get a second opinion. Get a third. Keep going until someone listens.
Write down your symptoms, your concerns, and your questions before every doctor's appointment. Be your own advocate.
If you're diagnosed with something serious, give yourself permission to process alone before caring for everyone else's feelings.
Set boundaries with people who don't show up for you the way you show up for them, and be okay with it.
If you or someone you love is navigating cancer, reach out to a cancer doula or patient advocate. You don't have to do this alone.
Remember: you are not a burden. You are the customer. Demand the care you deserve.
π¬ Listener Engagement
Have you ever been dismissed by a doctor? Have you had to fight to be heard?
Reply to this email or tag us on Instagram @grex_and_dirtyskittles with your story. We read every message, always.
β Subscribe, Rate & Review
If Talaya's story helped you feel less alone or reminded you to advocate for yourself, please subscribe, rate, and review on Apple or Spotify.
Your words help others find the stories that might save their lives.
β€οΈ Closing Remarks
If you've ever been dismissed by a doctor, this episode is for you. If you've ever known something was wrong and no one believed you, this episode is for you. If you've ever had to fight to be heard, this episode is for you.
Talaya's story is a reminder that you are not a burden.β You are not dramatic. You are not overreacting.
Your body is telling you something, and you deserve to be heard.
The medical system isn't perfect. It fails people every single day. But you don't have to accept that failure. You can advocate for yourself. You can demand better. You can keep going until someone listens.
And if you're navigating cancer right now, or any other health crisis, you don't have to do it alone. There are people like Talaya who will sit with you, fight for you, and remind you that there is life on the other side.
We're so glad you're here.
With so much love,β βG-Rex & Dirty Skittlesβ Changing the way we talk about mental health, one real convo at a time.
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G-Rex & Dirty Skittles
It's ok to be not ok, just make sure you're talking to someone
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